Freedom from limiting beliefs

I am fortunate. I am privileged. I am lucky.

I grew up in a loving family and I have always been loved unconditionally. I grew up in a wealthy country and I always had everything I needed. Whatever I did, whatever challenges I faced someone was always there to support me. All the options have always been right in front of my feet. I can decide on any career I want, go anywhere I like and be with whoever I love. I have the right and the power to make any decision concerning my life. I am not held back by anything but myself.

I am free and most likely so are you. The only thing that can hold you back is if you tether yourself to limiting beliefs. Do not convince yourself that you are not good enough, not capable or not worthy of something in life. Of course you are good enough! Maybe not right now, but you will be if you set your mind to it. Dare to dream big and go chase those dreams. Don’t hold yourself back it will only cause you misery. Every goal can be reached if you just break it down to small bits and take action one step at the time.

When I use the term limiting beliefs what I mean is beliefs that somehow prevents you from growing and pursuing your dreams. I learned about this in the INFJ Purpose blueprint course. One of my most dominant limiting beliefs is that I can not do anything that my parents will disapprove. Even though I moved away from home and I am taking care of myself without problems I need their approval for almost everything I do. I get scared if I do something they might not like and I feel guilty. subconsciously many of my decisions are based on: Would this make my parents proud? And I know it is a bit silly for a grown woman living by herself to worry about her parents thoughts on her. But that is my tether: My belief that I can do something that does not make my parents proud.

Now you might ask: How do I escape my limiting beliefs? First you need to recognize them. If you do not accept the fact that some belief of yours is in fact limiting you, then you will not be able to conquer it. Next step is to find proof that it isn’t true. Find examples of something happening to you despite that belief, something positive. A common limiting belief is the fear of rejection. You do not ask for what you want because you are afraid that you will get rejected. Look for situations in your life where you asked for something and did in fact get it. Even if it is small things. Then move to the bigger ones. Also recall situations where you did get rejected, but it wasn’t that bad. Again start with the small things. Maybe you asked to pay with your card but they said they only took cash. Was that the end of the word? Of course not, then you wouldn’t be here. You’ll start realising that your limiting belief is in fact not true at all. You can then challenge yourself to do these things that scare you and goes against that withering limiting belief. Of course it should be meaningful to you, not just disprove it. For example I would not do something just because I think my parents would dislike it, but I would do it because I believed it would make me happy no matter what my parents think.

You will find yourself relieved to get rid of these limiting beliefs and start building empowering beliefs instead. Limiting beliefs is no. 5 on the list of 15 things you should give up to be happy I like this list a lot and try my best to follow these 15 pieces of advise. I am more succesful in some areas that others. I few of them overlap a bit as well, but I believe it is just to make sure it covers it all. I find that whenever I am uncomfortable, restless, sad or angry it is due to me holding on to one of these things on the list that I should just let go (unless I’m sick and that is luckily rare). So unleash yourself from the tethers and live a happier and more fulfilling life.

via Daily Prompt: Tether

Understanding

Currently exams are approaching rather quickly. I need to get ready and my main focus in my preparations is to understand the subjects. These are some of my notes for these subjects I really struggle with. In hindsight I see I should have taken them during the semester, not just before the exam… But oh well, now I’ll just try to get the best out if it. Today I did not get to my goal of studying, but I did achieve quite a bit and that’s the most important thing. I like to make them as visual as possible. Drawings are great for my understanding of the concept and they are easy to identify when looking through many pages in a short amount of time.

Notes are essential for understanding and remembering new and complicated concepts. I wish my notetaking was better. That’s why I practice. In high school I wished I had more and better notes when approaching the exams. I think it would have helped me a lot. I never mastered the notetaking skill and gave up on it a little. In the end I just had a few pages here and there,but nothing substantial. This year in university I want to change that. I will take notes continuously and be grateful for it in the end. That’s my goal!

I picked the word “understanding” today as seen on the picture. My first thought was my studies and the coming exams. So I decided ro commit even more to my notetaking, since that is a major help for me when learning something. I you cannot learn something without understanding it. I recommend good notetaking to all of you as well, whether you study or not.

Expectancy

Christmas is a time filled with expectations. The food has to be perfect, your hoping for the very best gifts and you are lloking forward to a wonderful time with your loved ones. Theres barely any room for mistakes this day. 

I’ve been told multiple times bot to have high hopes or I will meet a lot if disappointment. That is true, but it’s also really sad I think. You need to dare dreaming, dare hoping for the best. If not, you will just get use to the ordinary and accept mediocrity. I don’t think it should be like that. Strive for the very best and allow yourself to expect as well sometimes. Otherwise the average will just be a self fulfilling prophesy.

On the subject I can add for fun, that I had power failure today for the first time in years. Power and water is something most of us expect to have available right at hand all the time. Many depend on it for different reasons. Our power supply company has promiesed that it will be back within an hour, but who knows. 

Clarity

Achieving clarity is something I’ve attemptet most of my life. Often it’s been a search for purpose and identity. This search never seems to end. However I learn something new everyday. The last few years in particular I’ve learned a lot about myself. I learned about my needs, my limits, my values and my patterns.  What’s the point of life? For what reason have I been placed here on earth? Right now a lot of my thoughts and mental energy is directed towards my studies. I need to figure out how to handle the pressure and pass my different exams. At the same time I just want to enjoy life and do something which is fun but maybe not that productive or reasonable. I do not enjoy university at the minute, but neither do I want to be a quitter. Hopefully there will soon be clarity about how to handle my situation and rediscover the optimistic, enthusiastic and determined me. I miss that side of myself being more dominant.

Daily Prompt: Giant

 So today’s prompt is “Giant” and what do I have to say about that? So far I just feel like the work load from university has been, well, giant. Read this, read that, research this problem just to discover 5 additional problems. Produce these worksheets about subjects you are only halfway understanding, read your e-mails and keep updated on all your deadlines. I feel tired just thinking about all this and I feel guilty when I can’t keep up with the efficiency of my project group and other co-students.

I used to be so confident in my ability and enthusiasm for this study. But it’s fading. I don’t know I should keep going or do something completely different. Right now the hardest part is our project because I feel like I’ve hid a dead end, but i don’t dare stepping back and starting over. My superviser turned sick recently and I think she’s gonna be away for a long time. Her lessons were some of my favourites and  I felt really good about talking to her. I wish I could talk to her now. Now I’m sitting here in our niche and writing blogposts instead of working, because I’m all alone and I just don’t know where to begin, where to end or whats in the middle. I feel lost on this project and I have no motivation strong enough to get started.

Once I learned a “trick” about making decisions and being in tough situations. Sometimes it’s hard to be tational, objective or openminded about your own struggles. But imagine your best friend were in your situation. What advise would you give him or her?

New reveil:

For a long time I’ve want to give myself this giant challenge of writing a book. I’ve decided that I might as well get started right away, and that’s what I have done. It’s going to be a selfhelp book about self-developement. I’m quite anxious to reveil this fact to anyone. You, my readers, are the first to know. I haven’t told anyone at all yet. Not only my closest family or my best friend. Please let me know if you have ideas to elements or sections you think should be part of this book. I am open to all suggestions.

via Daily Prompt: Giant

How Close?

The One-word prompt of today is “Border” and I feel like I have a relevant post on that subject. I’ll present to you some of the borders in my reality. I recently realized that my mum is on the border of a depression and my brother is on the border of dropping out of high school. This probably affected me more than I first thought and about a week ago I was very close to quitting my own studies at uni. The pressure of constant teamwork and the dependence that comes with it was so overwhelming for me that I nearly lost faith in my future in this field. However I was relieved and proud after a surprisingly positive feedback on our work so far. I’ve regained my hope and faith in this project and my place in this field and education.

Before I were given more information I was close to reject the offer of joining the social 3-day event for my education, because I feared it would be consumed by an uncontrollable alcohol party. Luckily this was not the case, I joined in and I had a blast. It was well planed, ridiculously fun and it was great to spend quality time with all these wonderful people. When I returned I wa exhausted, but extremely happy and positively surprised how much I enjoyed myself on this little trip with my new friends and acquaintances.

IMG_20161007_192246.jpgMy Word of Angels today is “responsibility” which I take as a reminder of how I need to act on my education. No it is completely up to me what I do, when I do it and how I do it. I signed up to join these lectures and other opportunities, but I am not required to attend them. University is full of things you can do, but barely contains things you have to. You are left with choices, not duties. As long as you attend your exams, pass your subject and gain your ECTS points, you can do whatever. That means you need to step a few levels up in maturity compared to high school. I’m still working on this.

Many thoughts are appearing, disappearing and reappearing in my head. Some of them are related to my role as a mentor. Do I have the needed time, energy and commitment for it. I’m afraid that my focus on my university studies, espesially the group work is consuming all og my time and energy, so there is not enough left to taking on this role and job to a satisfying level. However this is something I’m extremely passionate about doing. What holds me back is how I feel like I need to commit and surrender to the needs and desires of my team. The last thing I want is to be the one who let down the team.

My dear friend shared some wise words with me the other day. He told me than in a group or team compromised should never be made. Instead we need to make agreements.

The One-word prompt of yesterday was realize. Which actually appealed even more to me. I’ve come to quite a few realizations recently, especially due to starting university. Sometimes I feel like are not really listening to what I’m saying and that frustrates me. But actually I realised that it’s more likely to be a matter of them not understanding me. So I need to work with how I communicate my messages to those around me.

One-word Prompt: Border

Purpose

Appreciation and gratefulness are amongst the things in life I believe to be the most important. A wise person once said: “The secret to having everything you want on your life is believing you already do.” So be thankful for all that you do have. I like this quotes amongst many others as you might already know.

AIMG_20161002_224532.jpgnother important part in sustainable happiness is knowing that you are unique and valuable. No one can substitute you and you are perfect at being you. Sure there are skills and habits you can improve, but that’s the excitement and joy of life. Even though I’ve been told multiple times that I should only ever compete with myself I do compare myself to others quite often. Then I think: “I want to be as good as this person” or “I want to do better than that person” and that becomes my motivation for improvement and developement. No matter the motivation, striving to be better is never harmful. The harm comes only if you do not accept that you are good enough already.

When I need some inspiration I sometimes draw of my mum’s “Cards of Angels” with a word. Just before going to bed I drew this one on the picture: “Purpose”. I will now be puzzling with this word in my head until I find the reason I drew it. I think there’s always a skind of lesson in this cards you need to learn. Sometimes you just to make it up yourself. My mum and my family in general has huge value for me. Therefore it’s important for me that they are happy and proud of me. Maybe pleasing them is my purpose. Do you know your purpose?

Inspired by Daily Mails: One-Word prompt

Give Me A Break Please

People fascinate me. They make me wonder about problems, situations and ideas I would never come across on my own. My inspiration and motivation for almost everything I do comes directly or indirectly from other people. When I see something cool, useful or smart I want to learn it or at least learn from it. I have some awesome friends that I love and spending time with them brings the best out in me. My family is loving and supporting, so I couldn’t ask for more.

With that being said human beings drain my energy so much. When spending time in the company of others I get mentally exhausted in a matter of hours. I can’t stand to much human stimulation at the time. At some point I just stop thinking straight and stop enjoying myself. I know this is an introvert treat. We need our alone time.

There’s a variety of activities I take on to recharge my energy. One of them is drawing or just simply doodling. My sketches and artworks are incredibly different. It’s a huge mix of styles, motives and materials. Above is two drawings from my era of patterns. The one with colours was made within the last few months, the heart is several years old. Patterns is one of the themes I’ve taken on with the most success. Here are some other examples and I have even more which haven’t been uploaded yet.

Actually I have a long list of things I like to do to relax and have some high quality me-time. Reading fiction works wonders for me as well because it let’s me escape in to a different world for a while. Currently I’m reading “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn. It took me almost half the book to start enjoying it, but now I’m hooked on it. Meditation worked for me a few months ago, but for some reason I stopped. Starting that again would probably benefit me. Physical activity is always a winner. If I’m physically on top I’m likely to be mentally on top as well. Orienteering is one of my favourite sports to recharge, because I’m alone, I’m busy with my body and I’m busy in my head. It’s relieving to just allow yourself to forget the rest of the world for a short amount a time.

Inspired by One-word Prompt

Leftover Food

Remember the food I mentioned in the video the other day? I wonder why I haven’t included cooking in any of my blogs previously. In our family we try hard to make sure we eat all the food we buy so we can stop the food waste. That causes us to experiment a lot with leftovers. Wy mum claims I got a skill for cooking these so called “clean up meals”. Simply it means that I combine whatever we have in the fridge, freezer and cupboards into to a full and delicious meals. Sometimes I do cheat a little and buy a few additional ingredients. Here’s a few recipes, tips and tricks when cooking with whatever you have:

Make sure you get all your fruits and vegetables! I know it’s not easy but I can tell you that most of these can actually be combined in a salad. Apples commonly appear in my salads because they are sweet, sour, juicy and crispy at the same time. Also they can be combined with almost anything else. If you are a fan of crunchy I recommend adding nuts of your favourite kind. Croutons are good two, they just tend to be so fatty.

Spice up your greens with a delicious salad dressing:  Mix honey, salt, chilli and lemonjuice. If you like it creamy mix it with low fat neutral yoghurt anything whit a similar consistency, but no strong flavour. The important thing is that it contains something sweet, sour, hot and salt.

Another way to get your vitamins from those vegetables is by making a Wok (stir fry): First add leak or anything with similar consistency and taste (like onion or spring onions). If you want meat of some kind, I recommend chicken, do it when the leak is fried soft and “golden”. As the chicken becomes light brown add whatever other veggies you might have. I like to use carrots, bell peppers and sweetcorn. Don’t forget to add spices! Thyme is good with carrots, oregano is good for anything and salt and pepper is a must. Add rice or noodles the last few minutes of frying (also genius for reheating if the rice is leftover from yesterday) for a little crispness and to absorb taste. Serve with shredded coconut, fresh apples and a chutney.

There’s a million way to make sandwiches. In Denmark we have open faced sandwiches and consider it national tradition. My lunchpack usually contains a bunch of bread slices with various “toppings”. Have you tried mayo, potato and fresh basil? I highly recommend it and it’s perfect if you have leftover potatoes from yesterday. You’ll be surprised how many kinds of food can actually be eaten on top of (or in between) a few bread slices. One of my favourite sandwiches have to be ham, cheese, spinach, tomato and green pesto.

In case you have leftovers or fresh ingredients and just can’t eat them before they go off day, try freeze them and add them to a warm dish another day.

Have some tips and tricks yourself? Please share, I’d love to read about them!

Inspired by Daily mail’s One-word prompt

We never stop learning

We learn something new every day. Sure not all lessons are equally life changing. Sometimes a lesson can be pleasant other times, it’s extremely painful. I once read that

“lessons keep returning until you learn them”

and I believe that to be true. In that context it was also written that these lessons tends to be more and more painful to increase the chance of us reacting upon the experience and learn from the events.

One of my favourite quotes is in latin. Originally it was not as optimistic, but I don’t mind because I like this edition. It means: “We learn not for school, bur for life”.

“Non scholae sed vitae discimus”

  
And sure I’ve learned a whole lot in school over time, but honestly I felt like I’ve learned more outside those educational institutions. Being a scout for example and meeting other people in that organisation taught a lot I would have never learned by a tradition teacher. Many of my practical skills are learned through other scouts, my family or different free time interests.

Some of the more important and useful lessons I’ve learned that are not school related are:

  • Being true to myself
  • Taking care of my own physical and mental health
  • I learn from responsibility and grow with it
  • Communication is essential for good teamwork and success in other areas
  • Being proactive and focusing on what’s in my control

There’s a lot more to this, so please let me know if you would like me to elaborate on this subject. The page “Personal developement” has previous content on this as well. I mark my post with the same tag”Personal developement”and “My advise” when they are centered around life lessons and similar stuff.

What have you learned which is useful and important to you outside school? Don’t forget to value and recognise those lessons and achievements. They are at least as important and valuable as the acedemic ones!

It was a One-word prompt a long time ago, but I don’t care, I’ll write about it anyways.