Freedom from limiting beliefs

I am fortunate. I am privileged. I am lucky.

I grew up in a loving family and I have always been loved unconditionally. I grew up in a wealthy country and I always had everything I needed. Whatever I did, whatever challenges I faced someone was always there to support me. All the options have always been right in front of my feet. I can decide on any career I want, go anywhere I like and be with whoever I love. I have the right and the power to make any decision concerning my life. I am not held back by anything but myself.

I am free and most likely so are you. The only thing that can hold you back is if you tether yourself to limiting beliefs. Do not convince yourself that you are not good enough, not capable or not worthy of something in life. Of course you are good enough! Maybe not right now, but you will be if you set your mind to it. Dare to dream big and go chase those dreams. Don’t hold yourself back it will only cause you misery. Every goal can be reached if you just break it down to small bits and take action one step at the time.

When I use the term limiting beliefs what I mean is beliefs that somehow prevents you from growing and pursuing your dreams. I learned about this in the INFJ Purpose blueprint course. One of my most dominant limiting beliefs is that I can not do anything that my parents will disapprove. Even though I moved away from home and I am taking care of myself without problems I need their approval for almost everything I do. I get scared if I do something they might not like and I feel guilty. subconsciously many of my decisions are based on: Would this make my parents proud? And I know it is a bit silly for a grown woman living by herself to worry about her parents thoughts on her. But that is my tether: My belief that I can do something that does not make my parents proud.

Now you might ask: How do I escape my limiting beliefs? First you need to recognize them. If you do not accept the fact that some belief of yours is in fact limiting you, then you will not be able to conquer it. Next step is to find proof that it isn’t true. Find examples of something happening to you despite that belief, something positive. A common limiting belief is the fear of rejection. You do not ask for what you want because you are afraid that you will get rejected. Look for situations in your life where you asked for something and did in fact get it. Even if it is small things. Then move to the bigger ones. Also recall situations where you did get rejected, but it wasn’t that bad. Again start with the small things. Maybe you asked to pay with your card but they said they only took cash. Was that the end of the word? Of course not, then you wouldn’t be here. You’ll start realising that your limiting belief is in fact not true at all. You can then challenge yourself to do these things that scare you and goes against that withering limiting belief. Of course it should be meaningful to you, not just disprove it. For example I would not do something just because I think my parents would dislike it, but I would do it because I believed it would make me happy no matter what my parents think.

You will find yourself relieved to get rid of these limiting beliefs and start building empowering beliefs instead. Limiting beliefs is no. 5 on the list of 15 things you should give up to be happy I like this list a lot and try my best to follow these 15 pieces of advise. I am more succesful in some areas that others. I few of them overlap a bit as well, but I believe it is just to make sure it covers it all. I find that whenever I am uncomfortable, restless, sad or angry it is due to me holding on to one of these things on the list that I should just let go (unless I’m sick and that is luckily rare). So unleash yourself from the tethers and live a happier and more fulfilling life.

via Daily Prompt: Tether

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Succes in the little things

Today I have 3 little stories of succes from the last 2 days for you. I hope you enjoy them and remember to appreciate the smalm victories in your own life as well.

I got to speak to a former supervisor of mine at uni. She understands me on such a deep level and we can relate so much to each other. Her advise means so much more ro me than any other of the couselers I’ve gotten to speak to, because I feel like they come from someone who actually understands how I feel and what I am dealing with. now I need to act on everything she said. but the important things right now is I feel validated, encouraged and ready to take on that challenge. The goal is to get through this semester with a good feeling about it!

Yesterday was another long day at university working on a written exam I turned in today. I have had a good feeling about it, because I believe I made a paper of a high standard. Not many students were on campus so it was fairly peaceful. My team members worked from home, so I also got a break from them. However I did phone and text one of them so we could give each other some feedback on our work. That was really beneficial and felr good. After rereading, minor adjustments and a dew illustrations I turned it in just before noon. So the rest of the day I allowed myself to chill out and do exactly as I pleased to celebrate.

This evening I had a little meet up with a new student of mine in my mentor career. It went really well, and both the girl and the dad seemed positive and hopeful about it. It makes ne so happy to see my students happy and exited about the subjects I help them with. when they do good I get so exited and proud of them. All the lovely and complimenting feedback  just makes it even better. I absolutely love this job.

A few words of advise at last. I heard a young girl say these wise words that I want to share: “Stay hungry, humble and honest!”

Daily Prompt: Giant

 So today’s prompt is “Giant” and what do I have to say about that? So far I just feel like the work load from university has been, well, giant. Read this, read that, research this problem just to discover 5 additional problems. Produce these worksheets about subjects you are only halfway understanding, read your e-mails and keep updated on all your deadlines. I feel tired just thinking about all this and I feel guilty when I can’t keep up with the efficiency of my project group and other co-students.

I used to be so confident in my ability and enthusiasm for this study. But it’s fading. I don’t know I should keep going or do something completely different. Right now the hardest part is our project because I feel like I’ve hid a dead end, but i don’t dare stepping back and starting over. My superviser turned sick recently and I think she’s gonna be away for a long time. Her lessons were some of my favourites and  I felt really good about talking to her. I wish I could talk to her now. Now I’m sitting here in our niche and writing blogposts instead of working, because I’m all alone and I just don’t know where to begin, where to end or whats in the middle. I feel lost on this project and I have no motivation strong enough to get started.

Once I learned a “trick” about making decisions and being in tough situations. Sometimes it’s hard to be tational, objective or openminded about your own struggles. But imagine your best friend were in your situation. What advise would you give him or her?

New reveil:

For a long time I’ve want to give myself this giant challenge of writing a book. I’ve decided that I might as well get started right away, and that’s what I have done. It’s going to be a selfhelp book about self-developement. I’m quite anxious to reveil this fact to anyone. You, my readers, are the first to know. I haven’t told anyone at all yet. Not only my closest family or my best friend. Please let me know if you have ideas to elements or sections you think should be part of this book. I am open to all suggestions.

via Daily Prompt: Giant

How Close?

The One-word prompt of today is “Border” and I feel like I have a relevant post on that subject. I’ll present to you some of the borders in my reality. I recently realized that my mum is on the border of a depression and my brother is on the border of dropping out of high school. This probably affected me more than I first thought and about a week ago I was very close to quitting my own studies at uni. The pressure of constant teamwork and the dependence that comes with it was so overwhelming for me that I nearly lost faith in my future in this field. However I was relieved and proud after a surprisingly positive feedback on our work so far. I’ve regained my hope and faith in this project and my place in this field and education.

Before I were given more information I was close to reject the offer of joining the social 3-day event for my education, because I feared it would be consumed by an uncontrollable alcohol party. Luckily this was not the case, I joined in and I had a blast. It was well planed, ridiculously fun and it was great to spend quality time with all these wonderful people. When I returned I wa exhausted, but extremely happy and positively surprised how much I enjoyed myself on this little trip with my new friends and acquaintances.

IMG_20161007_192246.jpgMy Word of Angels today is “responsibility” which I take as a reminder of how I need to act on my education. No it is completely up to me what I do, when I do it and how I do it. I signed up to join these lectures and other opportunities, but I am not required to attend them. University is full of things you can do, but barely contains things you have to. You are left with choices, not duties. As long as you attend your exams, pass your subject and gain your ECTS points, you can do whatever. That means you need to step a few levels up in maturity compared to high school. I’m still working on this.

Many thoughts are appearing, disappearing and reappearing in my head. Some of them are related to my role as a mentor. Do I have the needed time, energy and commitment for it. I’m afraid that my focus on my university studies, espesially the group work is consuming all og my time and energy, so there is not enough left to taking on this role and job to a satisfying level. However this is something I’m extremely passionate about doing. What holds me back is how I feel like I need to commit and surrender to the needs and desires of my team. The last thing I want is to be the one who let down the team.

My dear friend shared some wise words with me the other day. He told me than in a group or team compromised should never be made. Instead we need to make agreements.

The One-word prompt of yesterday was realize. Which actually appealed even more to me. I’ve come to quite a few realizations recently, especially due to starting university. Sometimes I feel like are not really listening to what I’m saying and that frustrates me. But actually I realised that it’s more likely to be a matter of them not understanding me. So I need to work with how I communicate my messages to those around me.

One-word Prompt: Border

Give Me A Break Please

People fascinate me. They make me wonder about problems, situations and ideas I would never come across on my own. My inspiration and motivation for almost everything I do comes directly or indirectly from other people. When I see something cool, useful or smart I want to learn it or at least learn from it. I have some awesome friends that I love and spending time with them brings the best out in me. My family is loving and supporting, so I couldn’t ask for more.

With that being said human beings drain my energy so much. When spending time in the company of others I get mentally exhausted in a matter of hours. I can’t stand to much human stimulation at the time. At some point I just stop thinking straight and stop enjoying myself. I know this is an introvert treat. We need our alone time.

There’s a variety of activities I take on to recharge my energy. One of them is drawing or just simply doodling. My sketches and artworks are incredibly different. It’s a huge mix of styles, motives and materials. Above is two drawings from my era of patterns. The one with colours was made within the last few months, the heart is several years old. Patterns is one of the themes I’ve taken on with the most success. Here are some other examples and I have even more which haven’t been uploaded yet.

Actually I have a long list of things I like to do to relax and have some high quality me-time. Reading fiction works wonders for me as well because it let’s me escape in to a different world for a while. Currently I’m reading “Gone Girl” by Gillian Flynn. It took me almost half the book to start enjoying it, but now I’m hooked on it. Meditation worked for me a few months ago, but for some reason I stopped. Starting that again would probably benefit me. Physical activity is always a winner. If I’m physically on top I’m likely to be mentally on top as well. Orienteering is one of my favourite sports to recharge, because I’m alone, I’m busy with my body and I’m busy in my head. It’s relieving to just allow yourself to forget the rest of the world for a short amount a time.

Inspired by One-word Prompt

Identity, purpose and confusion

I think too much most of the time. In my head I try to analyse a long line of unimportant or out of control events that do not need me trying to predict them. Several times I get told one thing, then another and end up trying to convince myself it was a third scenario. Everyone has opinions and beliefs which they, too often try to pull down over my head. It’s hard to know what to think and what to do in thus world and it seems the answer to what is “the right thing” has become some kind of jigsaw paradox that no one can solve even though most individuals claim they can. I don’t even though if this made sense at all, but these are the thoughts that go through my head right now.

For years I’ve searched and worked to know myself better. To recognize my patterns, acknowledge my strengths and admit my flaws. Maybe I got wiser, but I most likely just got more confused.

In my early teenage years my identity crisis started. Since then it’s been up and down, but never over. Suddenly I just felt like I needed and identity, a way to define who I was. My name was not enough, neither was my family or my hobbies. There had to be more to it. Like defying something as abstract as “soul” I didn’t find the answer. Still I haven’t found it. This might also be what you can call “purpose”. Despite all the inspirational talks, informative books and helpful people I have encountered I don’t seem to have a clue.

Recently I said to my place at university. I signed up for three years of more maths, books and exams. Everyone seems to congratulate me and make this big deal out of it. Personally I can’t really hype myself up about it and I’m just… scared I guess. Afraid of having made a wrong choice. Will I ever know though? Probably not. Even less do I know what “better” choice I could have made. Whoever claimed that I am perfect; you are wrong. No one is perfect and I am most likely further away from perfect than you think. The inspiring quote “be true to who you are” seems perfect except in doesn’t take in to consideration that I don’t even know “who I am” or my so-called “true self”.

Well that’s my words for now. Remember it’s alright to have doubts, to be afraid and to make mistakes… Just don’t let it take over. You are better than that!

Inspired by One-word prompt

Reach out now

1 year ago I saw a post on my overfilled facebook newsfeed. That post soon changed my life, at least for a year. In the document I read about becoming a volunteer on a scout centre in England and that’s what I did just a few weeks later. After a week of training came different kinds of maintenance and more training. I met inspiring, funny and kind people from all over the world. My English vocabulary constantly expanded, my communication and teamwork skills improved, my independence grew. Every day was a flow of experiences and a collection of memories. This was the perfect choice for me. I reached out and grabbed that opportunity I’ve been waiting for in months, after dreaming for years.

1 month ago I discovered a course on finding my purpose. It is difficult, but I believe it is needed for my dreams to come true. It demands a great mental effort, but it also gives you useful tools to make progress. It gave me the structure and the plan I needed, a step, by step guide. Now I have coaching available if I need it. At this point I’m a bit behind, but I know I will catch up when I’m ready. I reached out and bought the help I figured I needed, which is the important part.

1 week ago I got a lift to see a place I’ve been hoping to see for almost a year. Visiting the British national scout centres was on my to-do ever since I started the volunteering placement. The journey itself turned to be even more exiting and memorable than the destination. Life usually turns out that way. I reached out and asked for the favour I wanted so much.

1 day ago I stepped in through my parents door and surprised my family with my return from overseas. I’ve come back to my home country  to study on university. I reached out and applied in time to get an offer on this education I’ve been considering for a while.

1 hour ago I was watching “The Pursuit Of Happyness” with my brother. I reached out and convinced my brother to find it so we could watch it together.

onesheet

One-Word Prompt

Teen now Tween

I’m thinking back at what happened as I entered my teenage years. Some of the events, processes and experiences are mixed up and I lost track of the order of it all. But let’s have a little recap and let me share some of the parts I do remember. A big part of it was my identity crisis that started here and haven’t quite ended yet.

Scouting

At the age of 14 the scout troop as I knew it and loved started falling apart. My two leaders was exchanged for two others. One of them moved abroad for a better job offer and the other refused to continue without him. This made me consider leaving scouting for good even though it was one of the few things I’ve always been extremely passionate about. The troop was incredibly appreciative and almost depending on these two amazing leaders and it all fell a bit apart when they left. For some reason I stayed, which was definitely the better choice. The following years were great.

One autumn almost 4 years ago the young leader course I signed up for got cancelled and I was not accepting a holiday without scouting. My previous leaders then convinced my to come and join a preparation and maintenance work camp on a scout centre they were volunteering at. That week was spent in one of the most comfortable, supporting and lovely company I’ve ever had. That was the beginning of my volunteering story on an international scout Centre. Still I keep coming back for as many events as possible on this beautiful place with absolutely wonderful people. My first boyfriend was even found here and even though the romance didn’t last long he is one of my most trusted friends today.

As I was finishing school (volunteer years but necessary for university) I was looking for opportunities for what to do with my future. My eyes fell on a temporary job as a “Give-A-Year Scout”. They called me in for a job interview and even though it was quite succesful I didn’t get the job, because someone more experienced was selected. All my plans fell apart and my self-esteem and high spirits suffered as well. At this point my dad suffered from depression so I felt terrible bringing my minor struggles home to the family who had enough struggles already. I felt as though the world around me was shattering. I had no idea what to do with my self and my life.

School

My 8th year of 10 mandatory years was a bit of a shock to begin with. The workload increased dramatically and it seemed impossible to keep up. They started to grade our work and it gave me the feeling that my effort work determine the rest of my life. I realised later that it didn’t mean much except it was obviously good practice to learn new skills and administering own workload and time. I graduated with some of the best grades in my class however that had no direct influence on my future. My teacher recommended “gymnasium” (high school/college necessary for university), but I had my parents convince to let me take a year on an outdoor and sports boarding school. That was living in the perfect place, with the ideal options for the experiences I’ve always dreamed of, but surrounded by people who couldn’t stand me. They made my time there seem like a living passive aggressive nightmare and I just wanted to run away. My supervising teacher convinced me to stay a little longer to participate in the skiing trip to Norway. That was the beginning of the pleasant few months of that school year. Later I moved in to a different room with new roomies which was much needed and much appreciated. I felt welcome and relaxed there opposite the slight fear, tension and disrespect that filled to previous room.

Eventually I took the 3 years of education to obtain my “university ticket” that everyone expected me to get. It wasn’t that bad and I made a few great friends, learn a whole lot and graduated with beautiful grades. But university was still not something I felt ready for at the age og 20. The summer holiday was fantastic, but when it came to an end I was clueless as to what the future held for me. I’d abandoned all job searching and education hunting and suddenly everyone return to their daily life of started a new daily life and I was just stood their not knowing what next week would bring at all.

Social Media

 

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Summer 2011, photo by PVC

Facebook… An efficient tool for online interaction with friends and acquaintances, but also terrible time killer. 2008 was the year I joined at an age og 13 and since then I’ve probably way too busy posting boring and useless post that no one cared about. There’s been many ups and downs on that road, but multiple times I’ve considered deleting my account with out actually doing it. It controlled me and I didn’t like it, but I was addicted and couldn’t give it up. Was staying a member the right choice? I don’t know but believe it or not; my Facebook news feed was where I found my current job. This is the best job I could have ever imagined to do for a gap year and 14 days after initiating contact I had moved abroad and initiated this new challenge.

 

Pinterest… Another timekiller for a million projects and ideas, one less realistic than the other. Incredibly inspiring and equally waste of time that could have been spend completing projects instead of looking for new ones I never get to do anyways.

WordPress… A media I came across more and more in simple webpage administering, forums and blogging. A few months ago I decided to join it myself and so far I like it a lot.

Response to One-word prompt

The Feast of Life

Think about it for a second; Life is like a feast. You are surrounded by opportunities all the time it’s up to you to reach out and grab them. Some experiences are pricy, some of them are completely free. This year I’m on a 12 month placement in England as a volunteer activity instructor on a Scout Activity Centre. For just the price of a plane ticket and a bus ticket I got all this. With the weekly expenses they provide me I am even able to save money. I’m swimming in new, exiting and challenging experiences every day and I absolutely love it! All I did was grabbing the chance when it appeared right in front of my face. Just like spotting a delicious specialty on a buffet. I just needed to act and take it, then it would be mine. Part of it the adventure is the privilege of living just a few minutes from stunning views like this.

Elf Kirk.png

By becoming a scout I’ve probably made the best decision of my entire life. It was my VIP ticket to the part of the feast that appealed the most to me. The scouts opened the door to the department of the outdoors, teamwork and independence. On the table in front of me I saw bushcraft, pioneering, team building, camping, hiking, problem solving, archery, sailing, climbing and so much more. I did not consume it all at the same time, but it was all so easy to access after I joined the right community.

Are you taking part in the feast of life?

Response to one-word prompt

The Drive to Keep Moving

One of the key parts to a happy life is hope and positivity. Another one is the motivation to to carry on towards you’r goals and dreams. Essential for hope and motivation is belief or faith. “Whether you think that you can or think you can’t, you’re right” is a quote from Henry Ford and I believe it is very true. It’s all about mentality.

So how do you achieve this “Drive to keep moving” in life? Well, this is individual for everyone, but I’m sure I can list a few general essentials. One of them is determination and willpower. If you imagine yourself as a vehicle, this would be the fuel. But fuel is no good without a motor, so that’s why you need goals. When you poor the willpower in to the your goals great potential is ready to be released. In order to move this vehicle we need actions, these will be the accelerator. To slow it down or occasionally we need reflection. After all no vehicle can drive continuously for eternity without breaking down eventually. Your wheels would be your attitude and mentality. You know the right mentality makes everything go so much smoother, right? As for the steering wheel you must have your intuition in place. Let your gut instincts lead the way. Enough of this imagery for now. Now carry on with your ride of meaning and optimism called “Life”.

Response to One-word prompt